Unmaking God

[pinkandyellow]

 She lost track of how much time passed, and not just because she was in a time machine. Some days, it felt like years, like she'd been passed it all and moved on but still carried the grief like a widow. Some days, it felt fresh and sharp, like it was only yesterday, last week, some time recent. She couldn't tell. She didn't ask, she didn't want to know. 

She told the Doctor, mostly. Told her story just as he told his, and he seemed to understand. Seemed to know, with a wisdom she always underestimated in him. A thousand years of life, a hundred companions and friends, people who loved him and loved others. He seemed to respect her even more for it, if that was possible, didn't judge her, silently encouraged her. Took it in the same stride he took everything else about her, as though she could do no wrong. 

She appreciated him more than she'd ever tell him.

They traveled. He took her gentle places at first, and when he realized it was the running that freed her, if only temporarily, he took her to planets that needed saving. What frightened her, though, was the fact that she wasn't doing it to save them. Not now. 

They didn't stop to examine their relationship, just as they never had. She didn't ask, he didn't offer. They picked back up as though she'd never even been gone, with grins and tea and understanding, and they just... worked. Together, as mates, and nothing more. He would probably be accepting, if she made any move to advance things, but she never did, and he didn't mind. Asexual, and an alien. 

Now, though, was one of those down-times in between planetary distraction. He was working beneath the console, and she was sitting, quietly. Watching. Not thinking, just... sitting, listening to the TARDIS sing in her mind, and just... breathing. 

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[pinkandyellow]

She sat beside him, shoulder to shoulder, and made no move to touch him. Stared out at the infirmary wall, her own hands folded in her lap. She breathed out a soft sigh, carrying with it the pain she'd been going through for the last three months. She closed her eyes for a second, just feeling the peace of knowing he was alive, beside her, and himself again. Felt the relief that came with being human, with having a chance. She sent a silent prayer out, eyes flicking to the ceiling, asking for strength. Wisdom. Help, anything to help her deal with this the right way.

She loved him. She wasn't going to leave him, but at the same time... he had to know it wasn't okay. She couldn't just forgive him, snap her fingers and make everything be alright. That's not how it worked.

"Being human means learning to survive. Despite everything. With or without a god, with or without money, or family, or a clear course of action. You survive through all the pain, doubt, and confusion. And you have to suffer before you can understand it all. You have to ask for help, and beg for answers, and wonder what it's all for. You have to realize that you're completely, absolutely, totally lost. And then you look around and realize... it's alright.

So you're in the woods a million miles from home- so is everyone else. Because it doesn't matter. Because there's still happiness, despite the pain, and love, despite the loneliness, and there's still morality despite the confusion. You make mistakes, you make the wrong choice, you hurt people, and you get knocked flat on your arse, but you never, ever give up. That's the point. That's what you didn't understand. We're all just as lost, just as hurt as you are. You find strength, not in some divine power that makes promises, but in each other. Other people. We're so much stronger than anyone gives us credit for, but you know what? It isn't their fault. They don't know any better. Being a human doesn't just happen. It's a right of passage. It's an honor, that you earn through living. I said you'd make a brilliant human, and I meant it. I still do. You were wrong. And I don't forgive you, yet, but I still believe in you, and I'm not leaving you. Not for the Doctor, not for anybody."

[rebelledforyou]

That was the thing though. Castiel didn't those things. He came from a different world. He had lived by different rules for so long. He had been around long enough to remember a time when his Father was there. He remembered a time when people actually needed him around. He never quite grasped what she had been saying because it wasn't something he was familiar with. He knew an older life. He didn't understand why they had to live in darkness just because his Father was absent. It made no sense to the angel.

He lifted his hands and rubbed his face slowly. He didn't know how to deal with this. He had never been in this situation. It was not one he knew how to approach. This wasn't sex. This wasn't love. This wasn't relationship rules. This was something else. He couldn't fix it with calm words. He would have to be patient and he would have to be the best he could possibly be. He would have to be the man she fell in love with.

He pushed his hands through his hair and then dropped them to his lap. He glanced over at her and nodded. "I understand." He knew the moment he took in those souls that nothing was ever going to be the same again. This would always be different. She probably would never look at him the same way ever again. It scared him, but he'd that over being away from her. "I wish to say one thing."

He looked at his hands as they twisted together. It was like he was trying to find the courage to say it. It had been so long since the words tumbled from his lips and meant something. He wanted to say it just once. "I love you and I'll wait until you can forgive me."

[pinkandyellow]

He would understand, with enough time, she was sure of it. He picked up on so much, learned so much, felt so much. He was human, even before he was human. He just didn't realize it yet. After everything, after it all crashed down, she still wholeheartedly believed he could be one of the best men she'd ever met. He'd wanted to save them. He'd wanted to protect him. She'd seen it, even though the way he'd done it was wrong. Castiel, Victorious. The Doctor could relate, she was sure.

And just like the Doctor, just like all good men who got lost in a cause, he came crashing down. It was the fact that he felt guilt that let her know he was worth fighting for, that he was redeemable. The fact that he felt true remorse for his actions, ones he admitted were wrong, that told her it was still him.

She looked over at him, eyes shining, lips pursed. Her heart hurt, throbbed, because not long ago, she'd been nothing to him. And now, he was back. She leaned over and pressed her lips to his cheek. Pulled back, and slid her hand down his arm to thread through his fingers. Turned her eyes back to the infirmary wall, and nodded.

"I love you, too, Castiel. It's all going to be alright, in the end. We'll fix it. I promise."

[rebelledforyou]

That made him feel a bit better. Just holding her hand and feeling her close to him was enough to let Castiel know that this was going to be okay. They would get through this. They would trudge through and they would find peace eventually. Things were going to be bumpy for a while, but that was fine. He could be fine as long as she was here. As long she stayed next to him during it all. This could be fixed with time and patience. Lots of patience.

He squeezed her hand gently and exhaled slowly. He felt the muscles in his back loosen and he felt the tension slowly slide away. He could let himself relax here and not just because of the Enochian sigil. He always felt relaxed around Rose. Even if she was angry with him and couldn't quite forgive him. He knew she loved him and she wanted this to be fixed. He'd just have to wait until she could forgive him. He had time. He had a lot of time now.

After a few moments of silence he finally spoke up. His voice was very even and not hiding any sarcasm. "It seems I have quite a large hole in my shirt. Bullet holes are one thing, but this is rather noticeable. Do you think it would be possible for me to get a shirt, Rose?" It was a fair question. A normal question.

[pinkandyellow]

"Nutters don't get shirts." She paused a second, half a smile tugging at her lips. It didn't last long, just long enough for her to bump her shoulder gently against his, and then it was sliding away again. She nodded, hopped up off of the bed, and tugged him by the hand along with her. "Course, yeah. Come on. I'll show you around. Probably something for you to wear in the wardrobe room."

She pulled him along a few feet, and then stopped, hesitating by the door. She turned to face him, and slapped him. "What did I say about bossing me about? What did I say about sacrificing yourself? Get bossy again, and I'm telling mum!"

The ultimate threat. She was only half joking. She pushed up on her toes, and pressed her lips to his, gently. She missed him. She missed him so much.

She said she'd slap him. She said she'd kiss him. She said she'd miss him. She said she'd still love him. She was a woman of her word.

[rebelledforyou]

He smiled at her joke and allowed her to pull him off the bed. He followed behind her quite curious to see what the TARDIS had inside of it. Rose had talked so fondly of it before. It was like seeing where she had grown up in a way. It was very interesting. He could feel a sort of presence buzzing around in his head, but he didn't feel threatened. It wasn't violent or angry. It was just there. He assumed it was her. The ship.

He stopped when she did and then she went and hit him. Ow. That hurt quite a bit. He was still in quite a bit of pain from his ordeal before and the slap was not helpful. He didn't blame her though. He had it coming. He had a lot of things coming. She did hit quite hard though. He remembered that from after the void. "I didn't sacrifice--" No use arguing her. She brought up the threat of her mother. He did not wish to anger her.

He thought she was going to hit him again and he flinched. He softened when he realized it was just a kiss. Kissing. He liked kissing. He leaned into the kiss and slid an arm around her waist. He had thought the last time he'd kiss him would be when he left her. He was proven wrong.

[pinkandyellow]

She kissed him, softly and quietly, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, digging her fingertips into his hair, just like she always did before the mess. It was the same. Things had changed, but at the same time, nothing had. Despite everything, she still loved him more than anyone else in the universe. Any universe.

"Ah- right- yes- sorry, I was just- I'll come back later, then." The Doctor popped in the doorway, caught sight of them, and backpedaled, flicking his eyes from them, to the ceiling. Shrugging. Coughing. Scratching the back of his neck, then fleeing. She rolled her eyes. Remarkably tactful, as always.

She pulled him out into the hallway, lead him down the passageway with her fingers still threaded through his.

[rebelledforyou]

It had felt like ages since he had been that close to her. He had spent so much of his time alone after he made his choice. He spent so much time traveling on his own and fixing the world by himself. There was never anyone there to speak with. In a perfect world he would have wanted her with him, but he also would not have had Leviathan's in him when he tried to fix this place. He would have been clear headed and rational. The world was not perfect though. He had to understand that.

The sound of the Doctor's voice jolted him out of the kiss. They broke and she pulled him out into the hallway. He stayed close behind her. He timed his steps so not to wind up stepping on her feet as well. He leaned forward to kiss the back of her neck once. It was nice to be back. It was nice to have full control himself again. This was different than when he had been possessed or killed by the vortex.

He finally moved to walk along side her with his hand still entwined with hers. "He's very strange." Castiel was just being observant. "Like me." He was very strange. Castiel was odd and he understood that. The Doctor was as well. It was almost comforting to know he was not the only one.

[pinkandyellow]

Her fingers tightened in his when he moved forward to kiss her neck. When he'd been... a bloody nutter, his proximity had given her the creeps. Made her hair stand on end, made her feel... icky. Not now. Not anymore. Feeling him there, behind her, so remarkably close- it was like coming home. She always loved the safety that bled out of him, and now was no different. Like he was there again to protect her, even from himself.

She traced her thumb along the back of his hand as they walked, shifted to rest her head against his shoulder. She snorted at his comment.

"Truer words were never spoken," she muttered under her breath. Strange was definitely one adjective used to describe the Doctor. "You've got a lot in common. You don't have to pretend to be anything around him, not like with mum. If anybody's gonna understand you, anyone in the universe, it'd probably be him."

She pushed open the door to the wardrobe room, and nodded him in.

[rebelledforyou]

Castiel stepped into the wardrobe room and looked around slowly. "So I do not have to speak Italian?" Her mother had assumed he was Italian and it really was the only thing he could think of. It wasn't like he had a real background to back any of it up. He didn't want to use Jimmy's life. That wouldn't have been fair to the man. He deserved to have some sort of peace and running around using his name and background would be rude. So he'd be Castiel. The Italian-American.

His fingers stopped next to a shirt on a rack and he plucked it from the hanger. It was a button down like the one that was currently ruined. He had resorted to button downs and his trenchcoat when he was God. It was just easier for him to return to his old ways. He shrugged out of the bloody trench and let it drop. He unbuttoned the shirt and draped it over a rack. He turned to her and slowly slid on the shirt he had grabbed.

"I am human again, Rose." The power and the amped upgrade had left a little quicker this time. No dwindling drainage. Just a straight cut off. "I don't believe I can take you back to your family. If you even wish to return." He knew that her mom meant the world to her and so did her dad. Then again she cared about the Doctor as well. Perhaps she'd be happy here. Whatever she decided on he'd be there.

[pinkandyellow]

Her lips twitched into a smirk, and she shook her head. "No. You don't have to speak Italian- though you can, if you like. He'd be able to keep up. You two can probably speak every language ever invented fluently to each other."

She shook her head. She was really going to have to get Rosetta Stone or something. Though, now that she had the TARDIS in her head again, if he decided to speak Italian, she'd be able to understand it.

Her eyes traced him as he shed the coat and button-up he'd been wearing when they met. As a human, he wore more varied clothing- not extensively, but enough. As God, apparently he adopted his angelic wardrobe again.

It wasn't with lust that she watched him strip, though that was still there, it was with... aching familiarity and fondness. Months, it'd been, and she was convinced she'd never see him again. Not like this. Not so... human. Her eyes flicked over his shoulders, his chest, up to his face, transparent and fond. God, she'd missed him.

She stepped forward into his personal space without realizing it, without even thinking about it, and started doing up the buttons to the shirt he slid his arms into. She sighed, softly.

"Yeah, I thought that might be the case." She nodded softly. She'd needed to get far, far away from that universe while he was playing God. Ran with the pain of someone who couldn't stand to be on the same planet as the mockery of the man she loved. Now that he was human again, she just... she just wanted to go home. When he was gone, home had been the TARDIS. It was a distant second to where she really wanted to be, in that tiny apartment, with him. Just... living. "It's not your fault. I made the choice to come here. I miss mum, but I bet you anything she knows where I've gone."

She sighed. "I dunno. I miss Tony, I miss... the quiet. It doesn't matter- you're here. We'll figure the rest out as we come to it, yeah? And besides... the TARDIS? Traveling the universe, saving people? Not a bad life. There're places I've told you about- that I've always wanted to show you. Now, I've got the chance."

[rebelledforyou]

His arms dropped to rest at his side when she approached to button up his shirt for him. He didn't fight her on doing it up. He actually enjoyed her being this close again. He enjoyed her being so domestic with him. He liked this life. He liked being human. He would have loved to go back to that tiny apartment with her. Going to the movie theater. Going to her favorite chip shop. Sitting on the couch together after she got home from work. That could all be replaced with just being with her here.

"Well, I would love to see them with you." And the Doctor, but he didn't focus too much on the Time Lord. This was going to be quite a weird adventure. Traveling the stars with your girlfriend's old love interest? Technically not, but she had felt something for the man a long time ago. Dean would probably equate this to one of his telenovelas he watched so frequently. It was certainly a strange situation.

Once she had buttoned his shirt completely he took her hands gently in his own. "Do you think he'll be okay with me staying here?" This was the man's ship. Castiel was not stupid enough to expect the Doctor to let him stay here so freely. He could dictate who stayed on board and who didn't. He wasn't going to fight the man. "If he object I don't believe we should fight him. It is his vessel." He nodded. Always so reasonable.

[pinkandyellow]

It wasn't easy. She ran to the Doctor because she didn't know who else to run to- he represented an alternative source of safety and comfort, he was familiar, but he knew. She knew. Both of them. He would live on long after she was dead. He would regenerate, and regenerate, and regenerate, for another thousand years. Eventually, he would change so much, he wouldn't even be the man she knew anymore. She'd have stayed with him, once upon a time, because she was loyal. Because she promised.

But they both knew. She was older, wiser, and she knew he was jaded. He would never be human for her, he never could be, and she'd never ask it of him. She'd never ask it of anyone. She didn't ask it of Castiel, but he gave it anyway. Volunteered it. Never met anyone I wanted to be human for, Castiel had said, and that's what separated the two of them. Castiel could love her, and chose to- and that was so, so very important.

The Doctor was many things, but he wasn't petty. In a way, if she had to guess, she'd say he was relieved. Though he may have loved her, she knew he felt guilty, because he could never give her that life. That love. No, she'd bet anything he was relieved at having that burden taken off of his shoulders.

"He's alright. I won't pretend it's the most comfortable situation I've ever been in." She shook her head. "It's gotta be really weird for you, I'm sorry. I really am. But- it's not like that. Me and him- it was never gonna be. I made my choice a long time ago, in front of a Christmas tree."

She gave him a tight smile. "And if we ever wanna get home, he's our best chance. He's got a track record for shunting me off into parallel universes. I'm sure he'll figure it out. It may be a bit- truth be told, he likes the company. Makes him feel less alone. And I'm sure he's dying to talk to you- thousand year old being relatability, and all."

[rebelledforyou]

He did not wish to step on another man's toes. It would not be very polite of him. This man had also just saved his life as well. He had saved him without even thinking. No doubt he had heard the horror stories of his rampage as God and he didn't let that opinion sway him. He swung right into action the moment that Castiel had showed up and dropped onto his grating. That was the mark of a true hero. That meant Castiel would respect him.

"For me?" He did not know if it felt weird. It should have felt weird, but he knew Rose loved him. This was an issue that had poked and prodded more than a few times even before he became God. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to feel. Dean would probably suggest something like jealousy, but Castiel just did not see it. Rose loved him. Rose cared for the Doctor like family. What was there to be afraid of? "I'll be fine."

His smile grew at the mention of the Christmas tree. That was a very good day.

Castiel tilted his head and listened. After a moment he leaned in and kissed her forehead. "I believe I may be older, but he is one of few who will truly understand how age can close you off in a way." He nodded and let her hands go. "Should we go and speak with him?"

[pinkandyellow]

There was no doubt about it- the Doctor was a hero. Really and truly. For all of his faults, for all of his mistakes- and there were many, many of them- he still tried. Just like Castiel, which meant he was a hero, too. Just... a fallible one. To err is only human.

She should have given him more credit, really. To think he'd be jealous, to think he'd be wary. He wasn't Mickey. He trusted her infinitely, it was almost overwhelming, and she had to bite back a flood of emotion. There was plenty enough of that for a while.

She pressed into that kiss, and when she pulled back, she felt better than she had in a long time. Her smile flickered into life, and she nodded. "Yep. Come on."

The Doctor wasn't hard to find- he was stuffed up beneath the console as usual, pretending like everything wasn't completely mad. He pulled himself out, though, when they came in, and pushed himself to his feet, hands behind his back as he surveyed Castiel over his glasses. Stiff, as though hesitating to pass judgement.

Rose had told him almost everything. A few of the more private details she kept to herself, but for the most part? He knew it all. He, himself, had tripped up, back at Bowie Base. His song was ending soon, apparently. "Hello. Feeling better? All ship-shape?"

[rebelledforyou]

Castiel made sure to take in every detail of this place as they made their way to the Doctor. He was quite impressed with her. It was a beautiful ship. It really had character. He had made peace with the buzzing in his head. He was coming to enjoy it. It was starting to grow quieter. He assumed that was possibly because he was growing more used to the intrusion in his head. He now knew how others felt when he went poking around in their head though. He would be sure to avoid doing that if he were to ever get his powers back.

Castiel stood as straight as a board when they stopped near the Doctor. He could feel the younger man sizing him up and he expected it. He was a big part of Rose's life. This was like meeting her parents only this was probably a bit bigger. This was the Doctor. The man who taught her so much. He assumed this was kind of a big deal. He hadn't made the best impression so far, but he was going to try to fix that.

Castiel nodded his head slowly and smiled. "I am fine. Thank you." The man had helped save his life. Whatever he had done was much appreciated. Castiel was still a little fuzzy. "I assume you know who I am and introductions are not exactly needed. But in the interest of a better first opinion--" He stuck out a hand slowly for him to shake. "I am Castiel."

[pinkandyellow]

Rose stepped back, crossed the room and hopped up onto the jump seat, watching the two most important people she'd ever met... meet. It was a surreal experience, the two separate parts of her life interacting. It was like two stories, meeting each other.

The Doctor lowered his chin a bit, eyebrows raising up. He wouldn't be as traditionally easy to impress as Jackie had been- he didn't care about the things she did. It wasn't politeness or manners that got to him, it was uniqueness of character, it was inherent good. It was wisdom, intelligence, experience.

The tiny smirk that played at his lips was a good sign, though, and he moved forward calmly to take that hand and shake it. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't trying to one-up the man a little, considering his history with Rose, he had a hard time suppressing that fight for alpha male, like he'd done with Jack, Mickey, Adam, pretty much everyone.

It was easy, though, once he applied his mind to it. They were kindred spirits. So very old. "Oh yes, yes you are. I'm the Doctor, Castiel, and Rose's told me all about you. An angel? Don't see one of those every day. Warriors of the Christian God. I didn't think you lot existed. Big wide universe, who'd have thought the humans were the ones to get it right?"

[rebelledforyou]

Castiel could pull out all the stops for the Doctor. He would not be able to demonstrate any powers he once had due to them being gone now. He had other things though. He had knowledge that not many possessed. He'd probably do alright though. If there was any three things that Castiel had it was definitely wisdom, intelligence and experience. He had enough of that to last him a lifetime.

Castiel was not aware there was a fight for alpha male. He only knew that he wanted this man to like him. He wanted him to call him a friend. He was very important to Rose and that meant he was important to Castiel. The Doctor could fight for alpha male all he wanted, but Castiel wasn't about to fight back. He just didn't really know how.

His hand dropped after he shook the Doctor's. Castiel smiled slowly and nodded his head. "Anonymity serves our kind well. We cannot properly perform our duties if we constantly have to worry about being found out by people. There are very few who know of our existence." They were some of the lucky few. "Though I must confess I am no longer an angel. I am a man."

[pinkandyellow]

Really, it was the fact that he didn't try to engage in the testosterone-driven annoyance that ultimately would lead to him winning it. But unlike with Mickey, the Doctor didn't bother dropping to that level. He genuinely respected Castiel, if only due to Rose's feelings about him. He was, however, extremely skeptical about the whole 'angel' thing. He wasn't the religiously accepting. He'd met so many beings, races, 'gods', had such understanding and ability to conceive the metaphysical, anything that claimed to be omniscient was met with extreme skepticism. He didn't believe in god, or destiny, or fate. He saw timelines, he saw the most probable stream of action at any given time. It wasn't preordained, it was simply very complex science.

Creation, the afterlife, the end, it was a string of numbers and statistics, not magic. That angels existed... well, he was more inclined to figure out what race they actually were, than to believe the myth that surrounded them. Just another alien species, to him, as soon as he could figure the other man out. He studied Castiel with more senses than a human could really understand.

"I can see that- your energy signature is off the charts. You're bouncing around like a racket ball." He looked faintly impressed as he tucked his hands into his pockets. He'd met species older than him- not very many, though. Met the wise and the mysterious, and he could probably see what Castiel's true form, it had still been attached. He was just impressive like that.

And he wasn't surprised by the feelings he had for Rose. If anybody could pull an angel down from the sky, well... She had a thing for broody immortals in trench coats. With a suddenness that didn't really seem to be spurned by anything, he turned to the controls and started flipping them. "So the only question that remains- how to get you two back where you belong."

Rose furrowed her brow slightly, but remained determinedly silent after that remark. The Doctor pretended not to notice. "It's not going to be easy, but I think, if we harness enough energy, we can skip back to when you two broke through initially, and send you back through that same poked hole. And can I just say- brilliant job patching that up. Really, I looked into it. Smoothest temporal patch-job I've ever seen."

"Oh, brilliant. You're talking cars." Rose rolled her eyes.

[rebelledforyou]

He was not used to being on the other end of the hard stare. He was usually the one eyeing someone up. He was the one that made people uncomfortable. He wasn't used to having it done to him. It made the former angel squirm on the inside. He now understood what Rose meant when she talked about Castiel's fondness of staring. It could be very off-putting if you were not used to it.

Castiel's head tilted when the Doctor spoke of returning them to where they belonged. That was not easy without his powers. It probably wasn't easy period. Castiel was very curious to see how the Doctor would send them back. He must have had some sort of trick up his very nice sleeves. He was a smart man. Smart men could do amazing things. Determined men could do about the same. He had seen that done.

"Well, I was God. It was simple." His powers were all he had ever known. He didn't not know that people could compliment you on them. He was not aware it was that big of a deal. He would be polite though. "Thank you, Doctor." His eyes went to Rose who was still seated on her own. He looked back at the Doctor after a moment.

"Will--" He was about to speak, but he held his tongue for a moment. He did not wish to phrase it wrong. He didn't want to insult this man or anything of the sort. He wanted this request to go smoothly. "Will you take me somewhere?" He was only curious. He had heard of other worlds. Seen bits and pieces, but their main concern was Earth. It always had been. "I'm very curious."

[pinkandyellow]

There was definitely a little bit of tension in the room, between Castiel's tentative attempts at passing inspection, the Doctor warily trying to judge his character, and Rose just hoping they got along. It increased a little at the mention of him being God, and Rose flicked her eyes to the grating for a second as she thought about that. Weird.

They shot back up at his quiet request, though, and her eyes turned to the Doctor, eyebrows lifting. He shared her look, and they seemed to have a silent conversation, because after a moment, they both lit up with grins.

"Oh, the places I can take you, Angel Castiel." Rose beamed and hopped up off of the jump seat, moving to curl her fingers through his. Evidently, it had been the right question to ask, because the Doctor took an immediate liking to him. Curiosity about the universe, showing an angel the wonders of everything? That sounded like exactly what he wanted to do.

"Anywhere in the universe, the past, the future, the left side. I can take you anywhere you want to go. Pick something. Pick anything, and I can find a planet for it."

"Bit full of himself, thinks he's impressive," She leaned in to whisper to cas, conspiratorially.

[rebelledforyou]

He smiled after they smiled. It seemed that they were going to go somewhere. That was nice to hear. Though his head tilted to the left when the Doctor called him Angel Castiel. He was no longer an angel. He would not mention it though. If that is what the man wished to call him then he would have no problem. He had saved his life. Castiel figured he was entitled to any strange nicknames he desired.

He looked down at their hands when Rose moved to stand by him. His smile grew and he looked up. He listened to the Doctor speak. He really spoke quite enthusiastically. It was almost a challenge for him to keep up. Rose had said the man could talk, but this was not really what he was expecting. He had a hunch this wasn't even the worst part either.

Castiel glanced at Rose and then looked to the Doctor with a smile. "He is quite impressive though." That was probably not the answer that Rose was looking for, but Castiel was very easily impressed by this man. It was very strange.

He straightened up and moved away from Rose. He made his way to the Doctor to stand by the console. His eyes swept over it. "I believe you should pick for me, Doctor. I would like to also know about her." Yeah. He was referring to the TARDIS.

[pinkandyellow]

The Doctor called him an angel, not because he was one, but because it flowed well. He had a thing for theatrical names. He was a little bit camp that way. The enthusiastic smirk grew at the enthusiasm clearly expressed by the two people on his ship. He loved enthusiastic partners in crime.

And he shared a cocky look with Rose as his impressiveness was reaffirmed. Egomaniac, him. There's a way to get on his good side. Call him impressive, then ask about his ship. He seemed quite pleased about that last part, and leaned against the console for a second, looking thoughtful.

"You can feel her, can't you?" He was always happy to travel with a being who could conceptualize the TARDIS as a living thing, especially since Castiel probably had a better understanding than most humans about the old girl. She was so much more than just a ship- she was alive. Of course, Rose knew that, but not in any way she could ever put into words. Castiel's perception of her would be different- more accurate, more clear. And that alone made the Doctor pleased. He patted the console fondly. "I think I know just the place."

He'd tell Castiel all about her, later, once the adventure was over and they had time alone- probably sometime while Rose slept.

He looked manic, and threw a lever. The console room shook. Rose didn't have time to ask him to go somewhere safe- the thought of losing Castiel to this life- exposing him to the recklessness of her past, of running through the universe, and him getting hurt, or killed, or worse ran through her mind. She'd... she'd gone so bloody domestic.

[rebelledforyou]

He could feel her. It was very strange. She had been buzzing in his head since he woke up and could actually focus on anything other than the pain from almost dying. She was quite a woman. He kind of chalked up his ability to feel her the left over juice from his time as God. He'd probably know about her presence without it though. He was a fairly perceptive human and Rose had talked quite a bit about the TARDIS.

Castiel didn't have time to grab anything to hold onto when the console room shook. He stumbled backwards into a hand railing. He reached behind him and gripped it tightly in an effort to stay vertical. He had already fallen on the grating once. It was not a pleasant feeling. He did not want to revisit that. So he clung to the railing and he looked over at Rose with wide eyes.

It wasn't long before if stopped and had engaged in what some would call "smooth sailing". He let go of the railing and made his way to Rose a little quicker than he probably should. He put a hand on her upper arm and leaned towards her to whisper. "You did not mention that she did that." Scared? Not so much. Confused and a little shaken? Yes. Very much so.

[pinkandyellow]

To most people, the TARDIS was usually nothing more than a soft hum in the back of their minds, something they might mistake for the hum of machinery, of a whirring engine or something. To Rose, it was like... music playing, somewhere far off, but that was the loudest it ever got.

Rose seemed used to the shaking of the console, managed to keep her 'sea legs', as it were, and the Doctor, even more so. The two wore similar expressions of fond amusement at the little shake, and Rose felt a bit guilty for not warning him beforehand. She wrapped her arm around his waist, looking up at him, chewing on her lip, eyes sparking. His expression had been... she really shouldn't be amused by it, but she couldn't help it.

"Don't worry. It's normal. She does that when we take off and when we land- bit like turbulence. Time and space turbulence, jumping into the wind stream or something." She offered him a reassuring smile, but her expression soon flickered into serious. "Listen- I dunno what's out there, but a lot of the time, it's dangerous. There's a lot of running- it could be just a brilliant, amazing, safe planet, but about half the time... just... be careful, yeah? I just got you back."